Could....

…this be it!
The end of it all
Can my heart handle it?
Can my brain comprehend this?

What happens when you wake up and everything is completely different from the day before? Not just the way the sun shines in the window or the time it breaks the horizon, but you emotional state. You want to be the best person you can be in life and treat others like you want to be treated…But can love allow you to walk away. The love for someone that knows you more than most. The love you never want to let go but may have too.
How do you deal? NO phone calls, No emails, No seeing one another when someone visits and life is completely separated. Can you do it?
Just talking about the impossible make you cry. Thinking about your life without that love makes you want to run away-far away. Can you wake up or go to sleep without that person on your mind? How does this affect your current relationship? We just want to be happy but what is happiness without one another?

I know I’m just rambling with a bunch of questions, but I don’t know the answer to any of these questions. I love him and that love will not allow me to walk away without being pushed. I hate the fact that I might not hear that voice again, never see that blog again, never read an email again, and never see him again. I’m crying…. My heart is weeping. I know what my answers will be after a Prayer. I knew what it should have been months ago. We ignore what’s written on the walls just so we can have what we want.

I can’t walk away. I don’t know how. I just can’t figure it out. We need your help Lord, Weneed you to guide us both to the right path. Hold our hand so we can do this with your will. Give me the answer to this situation I know only you had your hands in. The reason why we fell in love in the first place, there has to be a lesson to be learned, we both are willing to be your students.

If you don’t get this post or if it just doesn’t make sense, it’s cool. That means it’s not for you to get. My mind is running in so many directions right now. I’m not a stranger to being lost in my life. Everyday I have new heartache. I will pray on a few things with one of those being to find my happiness, the happiness really meant for me.

I’m going back to crying because a part of my world is about to crumble like Blue Cheese.