A big...

It happens once or twice a month, I need to sit back and reflect on my past. Change characteristics of myself for the best outcome in the future.

Doing this today due to a comment and I realized that I don’t have many issues with self. Most of my issues are of someone else and I take them on as if I need to change me. What I have learned in the past two or three years is that, I have to be ecstatic to be me (Thelma). NO one will make me love me. NO one will experience my past and live my present and dream of my future.

You walk in this world alone. Mistakes made alone and consequences are received solo. Whatever changes I feel is necessary should be all my own. I love me more than I ever have in life and I will not allow anyone to steal that from me. Like every person on earth I have made some bad decision. Should I be crucified because of these/those inadequacies….

My development as a woman will come every second, minute, hour, day, week, month and year. My exposure in life will allow me self reflect. I will mature and enlighten myself.

-Where there is great love, there are always miracles.- Willa Cather

Is it possible...

Addicted to being ignorant and not wanting a positive change
Mad at the world because of your choices
Out of the box with your reason and life lessons
To bad we should be closer without the drama
Have to get through all the hurt you have caused
Even after all that I have done, nothing will make you love me more
Respect goes a long way and we both need to give and receive it
Sometimes silence is golden and I have to practice this more, with you
Love for one another is evident, we just love very hard
Overwhelmed by the strained relationship
Vain I can be but I’m always able to say “I love you” without hearing it back
Every girl needs the love of her Mother.

Things mommy do or say…..

Why do I inspect the boys poop every time they go? Some point soon I need to stop because Miles is starting to smell like Jojo.

Whenever I smell poop, I say “do you have poopy in your diappy for mommy?”
Both the boys just smile and laugh at me. They know I have a job ahead of me trying to change that mess.

Miei ragazzi meravigliosi

They’re such beautiful babies. Growing up way to fast, I can’t believe I was blessed with two boys almost 6 months ago. Mekhi is 10lbs and Miles is every bit of 16lbs.

Mekhi had a casts on his legs (well just below the knees) for two weeks. He had what the doctors called the “opposite of club feet”. He looked so cute in his casts. They were weapons for him. When Miles was too close he would try to kick, if he wanted to get your attention he would slide his feet close enough to you, so he could nudge you with them. He is very smart and developing just fine.

Baby Einstein balls are the best toys in the store for babies. I brought them so M&M will start to focus on things and learn to crawl. Guess what people these things work. Two days of playing with the balls the boys are crawling. Okay, Okay, Alright, Miles is crawling on all fours and Mekhi is doing the army at war thing. I’m being a mom and want both of them to be on the same stage. I’m proud of them both.

My children have amazing doctors. They are so caring and tell me like it is. I make it very clear when we first meet, that I’m the mom that will research things prior too coming and leaving their office. Dr. L is that Doc, he will ask you what you think and gives you options. Dr. L said I have a superstar child. He said “I’ve never seen this problem corrected so fast, two weeks is great” He made me feel like a proud momma. He is such a great doctor. He actually picked Mekhi up and talks to him and makes him smile. Dr. L was very impressed by the neck control he has. Casts are off and feet are straight. We do have to go back and get custom braces for his feet, just to give him more support.


Guess who’s crawling, eating foods and sitting up!!!!?!!!

He is me.

We have been through a lot in a short period of time. Everything two people in a relationship can possibly be faced with. For real EVERYTHING!

When the sun doesn’t shine quite so bright on me, he knows just what to say to have those clouds move on. He is a wonderful man. When I tell him he is perfect he tells me I’m his Angel. He also tells me he is nowhere near perfect, but he is. He is who you want by your side when the snow or rain is coming down, when the sun is setting and the moon rises. Right next to you when the day after tomorrow peaks, is where you want him.

You know that guy you’d never think you would find. Well, that’s him. All the kind words that you want to hear from the man you love. The flame never goes out, ever. “You have a beautiful smile” “your body is amazing” “you make my life so much better” who doesn’t want to hear this and hear it everyday. He means every word of it too. He is genuine. Like the leather of your most expensive handbag or the leather of a fresh pair of Eastlands. He is my match like Mickey and Minnie or the T-shirt that match the horse on the RL Polo shirts.

He is Me.

He has my heart.

Growing up...5 months

My baby boys are getting older. *Sigh*

The boys are five months now and growing like weeds.

Let's run it down....

Teething has already started. Both boys are sucking whole hands and salavia all over the place. Hey my finger comes in handy at times. Mekhi does like licking clothes and my skin too, strange child. Teething rings are an essential now in the fridge.

Boopy's are being used for tummy play. Both boys are very interested in trying to crawl now. Before Mekhi was the only wiggleworm I had butnow Miles has started do move across the bed. It's a funny sight to see your baby push off their feet to get leverage to bounce over an object.

A great milestone for Miles... he his now flipping himself over. Yaaah! He has been a bit slow with this because Mekhi has been doing it for the past two months.

I'm elated that my babies are developing so fast. Wait, maybe I want them to slow down a little, I'm going to miss the kisses and the smiles I get everyday. They will be teenage boys and will not want anything to do with their mother.

Slow down mother nature..

Sweet Tee's Bakery

I have this strange addiction to projects. If I don’t have something to focus my brain on I feel lost to some degree.

I have been watching lots of TV for the past year and I need a break. But one of the shows I enjoy watching is Cake Boss or G-Town cupcakes. They have both inspired me to try to bake something.

Now, what you are about to see are my very first attempts to baking a cake and cupcakes from scratch. They may not be so pretty yet, but they damn sure taste great.

Red Velvet cupcake with Cream Cheese Icing

White Cake (Almond flavoring) w/ Raspberry Filling and Butter cream frosting

Enjoy..

A Celebration

In eight months my boys will celebrate their first Christmas. I'm excited to teach the boys the meaning of Christmas but let’s face it they will not really understand for at least another year or two. Don't get me wrong, I will share with them the meaning and give the Lord his glory everyday.

I have always wanted to start some family traditions and now is my time. Thanksgiving has always been my holiday. I cook and invite all the family down to the house. I love to have family around and enjoy the reminiscing, great food and listening to the perfect songs on the radio. Sometimes a line dance or two will break out but the night will always end with a game of Pitty Pat.

The alcohol will be flowing and obnounced to me my favorite Aunt have already downed and entire bottle. I see it now; I will enjoy my first holiday with my boys. Enjoy it so much I'm getting into the Christmas spirit early.


Just about a year ago I never wanted to put up another Tree or decorate my house for the holidays. Just didn't feel right. Too many issues and no one real reason to celebrate alone. Celebrating alone leads to empty bottles of good wine and a drunken homeowner. But now I have children to decorate for and put up a tree for.

Guess who has started Christmas shopping already... ME ME ME ME.

Durham Farmers' Market

I have been living in North Carolina for five years now and have never visited the farmers' market in Durham. It took a visit from my little cousin who lives in Philly for me to go and enjoy the fresh produce of NC.

Enjoy what I'm able too every Saturday from 8-12pm.

Sleeping Handsome

Spoon Jewelry

This past weekend my family took a much needed trip out of the house. We decided to partake in the festivities of Raleigh's African American Festival. Here is where I found a booth with unique jewelry. I love it....Hope you do too.

Issues...

Okay, so I’m anal as all out doors. I need help, I admit it. Five months ago my home used to be clean. I would dust once a week, sweep every other day (I have dogs) and vacuum just the same. I changed my bed comforter set once a week (which may not be normal). I don’t like doors open or sticking things on my fridge, finger prints on the oven doors, the butter has to be smooth on the top and spoons put away the right way. I am anal. But this too will change.

I had twins four months ago. Twin Boys!!! And my anal retentive ways will be thrown out the window, once they are able to walk. I’m starting to see my future and my doors wide open, dogs stuck in their crate due to the boys thinking they’re horses (Jojo is big enough to be a small horse), finger prints on the TV, clothes thrown on the floor in their rooms, laundry room a disaster, and just dirt from boys. I’m not ready for this at all. I need to workout my anal habits.

How do I tell ten year old boys they have to smooth out the butter? I can hear it now, “Our mom is nuts and we don’t understand what she is asking for”

Time to change my crazy anal ways, and adjust to having children.

I will start right after I clean the house today.