Insomnia

I’m expecting twins this coming May. With every pregnancy some discomfort is expected, but every morning at 3am these babies wake me up, and I don't return to sleep. Insomnia- I’m not so sure that’s what you can call this...When you’re sleeping peacefully and wake up to kicking or an abundance of movement, it's not insomnia. I can cure insomnia but this is not curable.

What do you do at 3am? I start to think of old things that made me happy. One of the things I remembered is a show call Insomniac with Dave Atell. This show used to be my late night snack, on days I really couldn’t sleep, he would give me something to laugh at. Dave would travel to bars, strip clubs, clubs and other places open at crazy hours in the morning (city trash dumps, warehouses, etc) in cities all over North America and some foreign countries. He would talk to anyone and make them apart of the show. It didn’t matter if you were drunk, striper, trash man, homeless, cross dresser, bartender, or just walking down the street and cross his path, you will be apart of the show. If you didn’t get anything educational out of this show you did figure out where to hang out at 4am in most cities.

It’s a shame it only lasted three years. Here’s one of my favorite clips.

A Lifetime

People wait a lifetime to meet that special someone
What if you find him/her and its just wrong timing
Would you wait
for the right time
I will and I am
This love is worth ever
Year, month, week, day, hour, minute and second
The kiss we share is like the fourth of July
You see the beautiful fire works but hear the boom seconds later
The hugs are like your face on Christmas morning
When you were 10 and spotted that new bike next to the tree
The conversations are like sitting with Nikki Giovanni
Learning all you can in a short period of time
When I walk to the car, you always trail one or two steps behind me
I wonder is it to watch me leave but still embrace my presence
Leaving the love of your life for just a day is hard
But for months and even years is like dying
The sun rises over my bed
I feel your arms around me
When the sun sets
I hear a whisper in my ear (I love you)
keeps me warm every night
When the seasons change
I know with every leaf that falls your heart is with me
When the snow flakes start to come down
I know your soul is with mine
When the trees and grass come out of hibernation
I know you are holding my spirit tight
When the sun is so hot and bright
I know you are the cool breeze keeping me cool
A lifetime is a long time
I’m willing to wait
I’m willing to wait for the love we deserve
I’m willing
I’m waiting

My Addiction

OPI nail polish. I have over 60 bottles of this polish at a retail price of $8.50 a pop, over $500 worth of polish ( Shhhhhh!! My secret but I get them for $4.25 wholesale price). Insane I must say-so myself, but I just love the colors. And for all of you who do not know, OPI is a green company.

This product is superb. I’m no manicurists but I have all the tools and more then half the skills to open my own shop in my house. My sister does designs on toe nails and I’m great with the fingers. Sounds like a new venture one day.


The new Swiss collections is off the chain. I have to get all the colors. Great for the fall/Winter season.

The Roots- "You got me"

If you were worried 'bout where
I been or who I saw or
what club I went to with my homies
baby don't worry you know that you got me

[Black Thought]
Somebody told me that this planet was small
we use to live in the same building on the same floor
and never met before
until I'm overseas on tour
and peep this ethiopian queen from philly
taking classes abroad
she studying film and photo flash focus record
said she workin on a flick and
could my click do the score
she said she loved my show in paris
at Elysee Montmartre
and that I stepped off the stage
and took a piece of her heart
we knew from the start that
things fall apart, intentions shatter
she like that shit don't matter
when I get home get at her
through letter, phone, whatever
let's link, let's get together
shit you think not, think the Thought went home and forgot
time passed, we back in philly now she up in my spa
tellin me the things I'm tellin her is makin her hot
startin buildin with her constantly round the clock
now she in my world like hip-hop
and keep tellin me

If you were worried 'bout where
I been or who I saw or
what club I went to with my homies
baby don't worry you know that you got me

If you were worried 'bout where
I been or who I saw or
what club I went to with my homies
baby don't worry you know that you got me


[Black Thought]
Yo, I'm the type that's always catchin a flight
and sometimes I gotta be out at the height of the night
and that's when she flip and get on some 'ol

[Eve]
Another lonely night
seems like I'm on the side you only loving your mic
I know you gotta get that paper daddy keep that shit tight
but yo I need some sort of love in my life, you dig me
while politicin with my sister from new york city
she said she know this ball player and he think I'm pretty
Psych, I'm playin boo, you know it's just wit you I'm stayin boo
and when cats be poppin game I don't hear what they sayin boo
when you out there in the world, I'm still your girl
with all my classes I don't have the time for life's thrills
so when you sweatin on stage think of me when you rhyme
and don't be listenin to your homies they be leavin you blind

[Black] Yeah, so what you sayin I can trust you?
[Eve] Is you crazy, you my king for real
[Both] But sometimes relationships get ill
[Eve] No doubt

If you were worried 'bout where
I been or who I saw or
what club I went to with my homies
baby don't worry you know that you got me

If you were worried 'bout where
I been or who I saw or
what club I went to with my homies
baby don't worry you know that you got me


[Black Thought]
Thet snake could be that chick
and that rat could be that cool cat
that's whispering "she tryin to play you for the fool Black"
if something's on your chest then let it be known
see I'm not your every five minutes all on the phone
and on the topic of trust, it's just a matter of fact
that people bite back and fracture what's intact
and they'll forever be I ain't on some "oh I'm a celebrity"
I deal with the real so if it's artificial let it be
I've seen people caught in love like whirlwinds
listening to they squads and listening to girlfriends
that's exactly the point where they whole world ends
lies come in, that's where that drama begins, she like

If you were worried 'bout where
I been or who I saw or
what club I went to with my homies
baby don't worry you know that you got me

If you were worried 'bout where
I been or who I saw or
what club I went to with my homies
baby don't worry you know that you got me

Where is your head at?

Random recap for the past few days.

For the past few days I have been going through a lot emotionally. I try to handle each situation differently as they occur, I’m beginning to get confused on how to handle this particular situation. Maybe it’s already handled and I’m not the problem solver. Either way I wish it could have been done differently.


My alarm clock went off this morning at 6:30am. Yeah, I know I’m on bedrest so no need for an alarm to go off; just used to it at this point. I need to keep my working brain on schedule. When it went off, I realized I had a dream about the person that was on my mind before I went to bed. As much as we think we can just walk away or ignore the connections we make in life, we can’t. There is so much time and effort that is put into a friendship, that you can’t just walk way with out blinking. Or can you…

I managed to get out of the bed today. I didn’t feel good at all and I’m tired of being in this house. I had to get something done today to make me feel like I’m making progress. So, what did I do…. I asked Malik to put my Glider (for the Nursery) together. He is not the best person to put anything together, but he managed to get it right today. I had to sleep on the floor with my sheet and pillow to make sure he wasn’t going to have me falling to the floor with the babies in tow. LOL I fell right into the supervisor role with not issue. He wasn’t to pleased. LOL

My mind has been running a mile a minute about this crazy situation. I look for baby items, clean, cook, walk from one room to another, play on the net or play the Wii and my mind makes a u-turn back this issue. It’s hilarious because I was doing so good all day Sunday and today. I have been telling myself I don’t need this problem but at around 4:30pm things changed. I wanted to scream!!!! WHY!!!!! You pulled me back in just seeing the name pop up. I started to wonder if a VM would be left or a text would be sent. I want that life so bad… No way will it happen though. Not even at 40... No one will ever let that go. I’m just to late to be that one I want to be.

Where is this going to go? Will it go as far as we thought? I miss it! I miss us! I miss so many things that I can’t have back. Is it time to move on in my life? I’m crying as I type this. This is extremely hard for me to open this door and close another one. Not sure if I’m ready for this. Love is stupid.!!

Lost but now....

...Found.

I brought this book just about, lets say five to six months ago. I lost the book or atleast I thought I lost it. Cleaning out my office today, I found it. I got really excited about because now I can finish this wonderful book, by a wonderful Author.

I'm about to finish this book because I so need it right now. Help me please Hill Harper. My heart and mind are open.

Baby Bump Photos

I have always wanted to take maternity pictures, every since I can remember. Now, I'm having twins so it's even more special for me. I have to wait a bit before I can take belly pics, but I can't wait to even have these babies and get them to this studio.

After searching and searching for a Photographer in the Raleigh/Durham area, I believe I found someone.... www.PhrecklesPhotography.com (Marie)

Her work is impeccable and reminds me of work from Anne Geddes. If you look at her website and then blog you will fall in love with every subject she photographs.

So she will be doing my maternity pictures and my babies first professional pics.

Love her as much as I love her!!!

Pics below are from Anne Geddes.

Love this song..

Fantasia- "I'm doing me"


Sometimes as women we give more than we should
To a man that just don’t treat us good, No
Gave him my heart my time
Did all that I could in the past to keep him here with me, yeah
But now I woke up, Opened both my eyes up
Realize that I don’t need any other.
Man, if you can’t love me equally,
Then you don’t need to be with me
Nothing more beautiful then knowing you’re worth
And finally, I know exactly what I deserve


I’m doin me, this time around
I’m doin’ me, don’t need you now
I rather be by myself, I won’t let your drama hold me down
I’m doin’ me, this time around
I’m doin me, I’ve finally found
I’d rather be by myself, I’m doin’ me.


Won’t spend another minute wasting my time
On a man, hey, that only tells me lies, no
Aint saying that I don’t need love
But them games, I don’t need that in my life, no

I’m doin me, this time around
I’m doin’ me, don’t need you now
I rather be by myself, I won’t let your drama hold me down
I’m doin’ me, this time around
Fantasia I'm Doing Me lyrics found on http://www.directlyrics.com/fantasia-im-doin-me-lyrics.html

I’m doin me, I’ve finally found
I’d rather be by myself, I’m doin’ me.

I could pray for you to act right everyday
But it ain’t up to me to make you change
Life is too damn short to live unhappily
So I’m being selfish and putting myself in first place


I’m doin me, this time around
I’m doin’ me, don’t need you now
I rather be by myself, I won’t let your drama hold me down
I’m doin’ me, this time around
I’m doin me, I’ve finally found
I’d rather be by myself, I’m doin’ me.

I’m doing me
This time around
I’m doing me
This time around
No more crying, going thru hell
It’s so good, I’m lovin myself
I’m doin’ me
This time around
I’m doin’ me
I’m doin’ me
Yeah Yeah
I’m doin’ me
Yeah Yeah