JUST

As I sit here in the darkness of a silent room, I’m thinking. Let me be very truthful, I cannot stop thinking. My brain runs morning, noon, and night. Brain power is what I’m going to call it and it’s a great attribute.

I’m enjoyed what I had. I keep living in that time and my brain will not allow the past to be just that, the past. I’m tired of crying. I want to be happy. Can I be honest and say… I know I will never be happy without that magic in my life. I often put my foot in my mouth but I’m just being truthful with my feelings. I feel like I should stop being such a girl and keep things to myself. Going back down that road will put me back at square one, noting being able to express myself.

I found this awesome thing called love some years ago and it’s amazing. It’s walk along the water in a historic district; eat great lobster pasta with old time flair and chase after a truck for an hour with no avail, it’s astounding. It has been new, fresh and scary in ten million ways.

A quick message to my brain…

Please don’t scare off the magic. I need, want and deserve the sparks and the big booms. The sound that comes after the flash of lights. I talk to the father we share, I give thanks for many gifts. I ask for blessings in so many areas.
Thank you for always believing in me and allowing me to strive for greatness.